A Nuptial Eucharist of Holy Matrimony: Humberto and Kathryn

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I take thee my wedded Spouse, to have and to hold from this time forth, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to GOD’s holy ordinance; and thereto, I pledge thee my troth. — Throughout the Bible, marriage is employed as the most sublime metaphor for the relationship between GOD and man. “Indeed, a good Christian marriage is more than a religious metaphor; it is the first, tangible, visible, and most glorious fruit of the Kingdom of GOD. A wedding was not only the occasion for the first miracle of JESUS; it was, after Creation itself, GOD’s Own first miracle. That miracle is described for us in the second chapter of Genesis. There we are told: “He brought the woman to the man.” — Surely, no encounter between two people, anywhere in the history of literature, is more famous than the meeting between Adam and Eve; [save one.]”*(p. 34) GOD repeated this sublime miracle as He said He would, when He brought the Seed of the first woman to the Church, JESUS the Incarnate Christ. As Adam did with Eve, JESUS pledged His troth to the Apostles, and thereby to the whole of the Church for all time, promising to be Her faithful Bridegroom and LORD. — Adam pledged his troth to Eve when he said, “This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2.23); JESUS Christ pledged His troth to the Church when He said: “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you” (St. John 14.8). 

Christ JESUS’ troth as the model, the Christian pledge of one’s troth in holy matrimony means to yield yourself to complete union with another in an undying and lifelong union with faith and fidelity – husband into wife, and wife into husband. This is no small matter, as GOD’s divinely sanctioned union of one man and one woman inside the covenantal relationship of holy matrimony, requires keeping yourself wholly and solely unto the other by forsaking all others, so long as ye both shall live. — The nuptial commitment made in the Church before faithful witnesses is a sublime metaphor of the commitment made between GOD and man. Marriage, biblically understood, is one of the most acute reflections of the Divine, biblical love that humanity can ordinarily experience with his Creator. When a man and woman come together in Holy Matrimony, their union reflects the love of GOD for His chosen people, and in the Kingdom of GOD, the love of Christ for His Church. — The holy love bestowed upon a man and woman by GOD to share in their newly wedded state can be summed up in GOD’s loving commitment to His children: Though you are the other, I will go with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you; fear not, neither be dismayed. (cf. Deut. 31:6)  

It is only because of this pledge of troth in faith and fidelity that the Church would dare consecrate the union of any man and woman. — You see, such pledges as Humberto’s and Kathy’s, theirs are an extreme act of adventurism – adventurism from the norm of the human condition. — The natural human inclination is less toward oneness as it is towards increasing separation. Oneness is achievable only through the selfless sacrifice of one for the benefit of the other. Again, Christian marriage is adventurism and permeated through and through with unconditional love; adventuring away from the natural human inclination to love another person under certain restrictive conditions; this is the way of the world. — The Archetype for the great adventure away from the norm is the love of GOD the Father Himself. For it was Him who first exhibited divine adventurous Love, which He “manifested toward us … [when He] sent his only begotten Son, JESUS the Christ, into the world, that we might live through him” (1 John 4.9). — The adventurism of GOD to abandon all for the sake of redeeming others, this is the same adventure that Kathy and Humberto are beginning today, in troth – in truth – in Christian love. “That is one of the chief characteristics of love: it asks for everything … And unless one is challenged to give everything, one is not in love … The wedding ceremony is merely the beginning of a lifelong process of handing absolutely everything over in love; not simply everything that one owns, but everything that one is, that the man might live through the woman, and the woman through the man; submitting one to the other, as one new creature in GOD.” *(p. 21-22) 

Friends, this idea cannot be overstated! ‘Forsaking all others – till death do us part,’ that is what they pledged by their troth, to uphold. — Again, GOD in Christ is the archetype for the Church in this regard. As Saint Paul tells us in his epistle to the Church in Philippi: “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ JESUS, who, being in the form of GOD, did not consider it robbery to be equal with GOD, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Phil. 2.5-8). — It is the most exquisite illustration of submission known to mankind: ‘being in the form of GOD, He did not consider it robbery to be equal to GOD,’ thereby trothing His life for all mankind as a servant to atone for sin – even unto death. — Thus, the theology of the Church, as Christ JESUS has deposited it with us through His Apostles, describes marriage as a humbling and tearing away of the ‘self’ from that which was once individually intimate and comfortable. Marriage in Christ mandates the separation from all others, friends and family, and the fastening of the one person with the other, so that they are no longer twain, but one. In Holy Matrimony, the Christian couple no longer seeks their independent wills, but the mind of Christ instead, thereby considering it not robbery to be a servant in unconditional love to the other.  

The challenge for many in marriage is the idea that happiness, or contentment, comes solely to those who allow for the ‘taking away’; for the ‘not considering it robbery to be equal.’ As one theologian has written: “What is taken away in marriage is the entire freedom to think and to act as an independent person … If people understood the true depth of self-abnegation that marriage demands, there would perhaps be far fewer weddings … To be in Holy Matrimony is truly the way to lose one’s life for the sake of Christ.” *(p.165) To use Saint Paul’s language, in Holy Matrimony, though each partner is in the form of an individual, for Christ’s sake, each pledges to not consider it robbery to be equal with the other, living together after GOD’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony as one new creation. “Marriage is really a drastic course of action … It is a radical step and is not intended for anyone who is not prepared, indeed eager, to surrender his own will and to be wholeheartedly submissive to the will of another. For there is no way to surrender one’s will, except by surrendering it to another’s will.” *(p.166) And to surrender one’s will is to allow for the complete otherness of another person into your life. It is like an oak tree growing in the middle of your living room: inescapable. — And yet, for the husband and wife committed to Christ, and His form of selfless love for another, the tree ‘of otherness’ will be for that couple the shade of contentment when the sun burns – stability in companionship when the winds violently gale – the safety of affection when the tides change – security from loneliness when the earth quakes – and the legacy of a memorable life spent in blessed union, when time mandates that only one swing can swing, where two swings, side by side, once swung before. 

To quote a sage: “Marriage is one of the greatest steps we can take in the direction of choosing for ourselves what has already been given to us: it is choosing closeness with GOD in the form of closeness with another. It is a deliberate choosing of closeness over distance; of companionship over detachment; of relationship over isolation; of love over apathy; of life over death. — Marriage is not a choice that comes to us naturally … Marriage can only be grown into, at best, consented to with ever-decreasing reluctance … For that is marriage’s purpose: to get us beyond our selfish depths … and into the unpredictable deep of a real, interpersonal encounter with another … a covenantal union of biblical proportions.” *(p. 45-46)  

Humberto and Kathy: “Marriage is not about sameness, but about oneness; marriage is characterized less by similarities than by differences. One partner is a man and the other a woman, and that is just the beginning … Oneness arises from differences fitting together as GOD ordained them from the beginning … Oneness in Holy Matrimony is not something to be mastered; it is something given by GOD to be marveled at with ever increasing humility and gratitude.” *(p.202) Marriage is a mystical reunion of woman to man, and man to woman as GOD intended from the beginning; a mystery best understood in the archetypal image of Christ’s union with the Church – a union through selfless sacrifice – a life for a life, to breed a new life – a new creation. Soon you will be one flesh – love each other with wild abandon and nourish and cherish one another in the reverent fear of your Creator. 

And may HE, GOD ALMIGHTY, by the power of the Holy Ghost, bless your union, prayerfully considered and faithfully trothed in a covenant of fidelity. May your holy estate of matrimony be a witness to the world and a reflection of GOD the Son’s love for His Bride, the Church. — Therefore, what GOD has joined together, let no man, nor foreign power, nor principality, put asunder. In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.  

 
* Mason, Mike, The Mystery of Marriage, (Sisters: Multnomah Books, 1996).